DocBrain and the Road Trip

DocBrain just drove back from Philadelphia on the Pennsylvania Turnpike.

DocBrain remembers Mr. Harris as a wizened old man who worked with DocBrain's father. DocBrain believes that Mr. Harris used to be a college professor but moved back to the deep country of West Virginia because his wife was lonely for the hill country. Mr. Harris also was a turkey farmer (or lived near a turkey farm...DocBrain will have to ask BrotherBrain for more on that one). Mr. Harris used to say that the downfall of the Roman Empire was related to the decline of their roads.

PennDot, the state agency in Pennsylvania charged with the maintenance and repair of highways, is turning PA into the final days of the American Empire.

Here are a few of DocBrain's gripes:

1. Where in the hell are the workers? If DocBrain is lucky enough to see a few, they hardly ever are actually working. Most do their best Duce Staley interpretation of standing on the sidelines scratching their ... (DocBrain has no idea what the women PennDot workers are scratching. Looking at some of them, he doesn't want to be enlightened on that one, either).
2. Why aren't they working on weekends? Ha! DocBrain knows this answer. It is because a lot of them don't even live in PA!!! Yes, we pay our taxes and employ people from other states to fix our roads!! And they have to go home on weekends... to spend their money in other states!!! What idiocy is this???!!!
3. DocBrain can see cones and "turn on your lights" signs and "reduced speed" signs threatening high fines for speeding for miles and miles and miles and miles....but no workers, no torn up road, just signs, signs, everywhere signs. This makes no sense to DocBrain except as a speed trap, but even then the state cops aren't in on it because almost everyone flies thru these areas at 65 mph with no cops in sight! Note to PA: either enforce your stupid miles of signs or take them down.
4. Note to drivers: The PA Turnpike has been a toll road since before you were born. This should be no surprise to you. You will have to pay a toll in a toll booth. Have your ticket and money ready. Also, look under your rear view mirror. Do you see an EZPass box? No? Do you see the BIG SIGN "EZ PASS ONLY"? HOW IN THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO PAY IN THAT LINE IF YOU DON'T HAVE AN EZPASS BOX?
5. Dear State Police officer: Here is my theory. Assuming good road conditions, if everyone is going a fixed speed in close proximity to the speed limit (or even a little above), there will be few collisions. If someone is driving real fast, then real slow, then real fast again, then problems can arise. Who am I describing? The truck drivers!!! They are flying downhill at 80+mph and crawling uphill at 40 mph. I have no real problem with their crawling uphill, as that is the best they can do, but why let them speed downhill? The speed limit is not a time averaged event for cars, so it shouldn't be for trucks either. Position your speed traps occasionally in a place where you can control the truckers. I bet if you do this you will have more credibility with the auto drivers.

End of rant.